Test of Faith
by MuddyWolf
Summary: Hellsing/Lupin the 3rd crossover. Takagi Yumiko is part of the Iscariot Organization and a fanatical Catholic. What will happen when she meets Ishikawa Goemon? My first attempt at romance in a while.


Legal Stuff: Goemon and all Lupin characters belong to Monkey Punch, and Takagi Yumiko

and all Hellsing characters belong to Kouta Hirano.

This is a Lupin III and Hellsing crossover. Strange? Yes.

9/26/08

Test of Faith

by Blue9Tiger

The putrid smell of writhing corpses collided with blood that clogged the gutters. Death choked the red air, heavy with rot and gore. The clash of steel. Another severed head plunked into the gut-spattered pile of bodies. The ghoul army advanced. Slash. Shred. The undead dust And the executioner veiled in a nun's habit. Her sword coated with impure blood. Unable to administer Last Rites, she dispatched the damned souls in silence. But with a smile...but not quite right...not quite right in the head..a little cracked..a little...just a little...

An old ghoul haplessly threw itself forward, its hanging jaws reaching for the life, the life that it was deprived of and that it could never get back again. Its empty sockets met hers, filled like a hearth in hell. Her lips were twisted cruelly, madly, filled with rapture at the thousands of undead falling under the divine command of God, whose will it was her solemn duty to carry out.

"Pray for us sinners...now at the hour of our death."

Another soul redeemed, a corrupt body cleaved in two. "Amen."

--

On the hill overlooking Kisogi, in a wild part of the country divorced from the ordered metropolis, the samurai stood noble but humble before the rising sun, whose light blessed all of Japan and made it favored by the gods. Everything...the grass, the field below, the forest behind him where he had often trained, its pristine beauty filled his warrior's heart with awe and brought a tear to his manly eye. Trained as a warrior to respect the art of war and the gentle arts, he composed a poem.

--

Her legs--modestly concealed under her black robe, soaked in ghoul blood and filthy--drowned in the piles of dust. The last ghoul had fallen. The most venerable Father Anderson had dispatched the vampire. She met the Russo-German, her comrade, at the crossroads. Her Desert Eagles stank with noble gunpowder, the barrels hot. The nun dressed as a priest clomped up to her sister-in-arms, who still gripped her katana, her smile glowing with mad delight.

"Took you long enough, Yumie." She took a cursory glance at the now-emptied city. "You have too much fun with them. Chief said to make it quick." She lit up her favorite brand and casually took a drag, frowning at her watch. "C'mon, before the cops come to save the "innocent victims".

Yumie cast her wild eyes in Heinkel's direction--the latter was used to it by now. The bloody angel, a berserker in her own right, but only when...

"By the way, where's your glasses?" she asked in her broken Japanese.

"Looks like I dropped 'em," Yumie answered, her features twisted with malice. She snatched them from the ground where they had fallen--they were sticky with blood, and she meekly exclaimed, "Oh!", and wiped them off. Heinkel threw her satchel with their supplies over her back, gave an approving "Hehn", and the pair withdrew as the sirens drew into more immediate range.

--

With lupine swiftness the samurai crossed the forest, his sandals barely audible in the still air. The forest dwellers pulled back to avoid this daimyo of the world, who they understood to be master of no domain but somehow commanding great power. They felt compelled to make way for that one who was favored by the gods.

He passed the shrine like he always did. Normally, pressed by a jewel, assassins, or some other thing he would simply pass it by--regrettably--tradition ingrained it in him to visit the shrine and leave an offering.

--

Before the cross the nun kneeled. Her flesh mortified, going where few religious nowadays would dare, mutilating her body for the Lord. She didn't dare raise her eyes to the scourged skin of her Savior, and she could only offer her mere human voice, to ask for forgivness for her sins-numbered among many, for she was an Iscariot. And only a Judas would have to scrape and beat his breast for in it was the heart that sent the Christ to the pillar, and from there to the Cross.

At last she presumed to look on the haggard face of the Son.

But she saw someone else. She saw the face of the thief. The Holy Scripture did not give a face to the thief, but somehow--intuitively, she knew that he was the thief. And not the good one who was received into Paradise by God's mercy. The unbeliever, the one who reviled Him. And for that fleeting moment she had looked up and seen the face of the bad thief.

_It doesn't make it any less sacreligious._

In horror of her transgression she beat herself with all the force of a Roman centurion.

--

"Almost done!" chriped Lupin as he wiped his white brow with a furry hand. He was in his half-undone shirt with the sleeves folded up, and his pants were dusty. He held a heavy wrench and laughed wickedly, exaggeratedly. "Get a load of this, Jigen!! Am I a genius or what?"

"I don't know, boss, looks to me like you toe the line between genius and madness but, nah, you're definitely on the madness side, heh."

Lupin frowned at the talkative beard, hat, and nose and returned him with an irritated grunt.

"Hmph, well someone doesn't appreciate ingenuity! Well when I tell you what it is...heee...so?"

"So what?'

Lupin growled at Jigen's apparent indifference.

"It's a friggin' teleporter, that's what!" the master thief, who occasionally did invent some things of his own, shouted. Jigen's eyes popped open.

"Oh, so that's what that ugly-ass piece of shit is!!"

"Uh, yeah, ugly-ass. Some people don't have taste!" Lupin pouted, but then came back with a blinkey smile. "But it's not just any teleporter. It's an inter-dimensional teleporter that teleports shiny stuff from other worlds!! Chew on that for a while,Jigen!!"

"I get it!" Jigen exclaimed in illumination. He fixed his cold, warm eyes on the machine that didn't look any less bizarre but sure as hell looked more interesting. "So, how's it work?" But then he blinked, did a double-take, and backtracked. "Waitaminute, other worlds? What the hell are you talkin' about, man?"

"It means I can cross time and space and all that crap!" Lupin answered jovially. "C'mon, pal, don't kill yourself tryin' to work out the mechanics. Here, lemme show you!"

--

Goemon laid down the offering with reverence in front of the statue. All around him the vapors of incense imbued him with a pure spirit. He sat there in silence, meditating on the immediacy of death.

--

Lupin's oddly-shaped machine glowed, sparked, seething with energy as it whirred to life. Its inner chamber, that would receive whatever valuable it would intercept from an invisible vault, gave off a blinding light that grew, expanded, until t had swallowed the room.

"Son of a bitch!!"

Lupin, grinning like a mad scientist, already strapped on a pair of protective eyewear. He didn't flinch as the light devoured the kitchen and the hallway, spreading so far that Zenigata was roused from a fitful sleep and swore that Lupin was behind it--but he was down with a cold so nasty that the doctor had ordered him to stay in bed--indeed, he had to be strapped down--to keep him from the chase. So Lupin kept at his experiment un-hindered, anticipating what would be his biggest contribution to crime...

--

As Yumiko crossed herself, lowered the blooded instrument, and bowing underneath the self-inflicted pain, her flesh burning with the hot blood that rolled down her back, she dressed herself no sooner when the bell for the evening mass rang. She proceeded to the door of her cell and headed out, her spectacled gaze lowered, pious, contemplative with devotion. The bell tolled. She walked down the hall towards the church. The bell rang ceaselessly. It blurred and became incoherent. The floor disappeared under her. She found herself floating.

_Yumiko, what the hell's going on?! C'mon, lemme out, you spineless twit!!_

But her other self yelled at her in vain. She was being swallowed up, and she could only hope that God would have mercy.

--

The light vanished as quickly at it had materialized. Jigen blinked furiously to regain his sight. He swore and fretted and rubbed his eyes with his knuckles. He stood up from where he had been thrown down on his rump by the blinding light and stared at the machine expectantly. Lupin had removed his goggles and was also inspecting the container.

To his dismay, it was a girl.

"Uh..."

"Er, Lupin, was that supposed to happen?"

"Um...where am I? Who are you, good sirs?"

"Hey, look, girl--" Jigen grumbled, witholding an appellation of "toots" or "sugar" or some other name that he could tack onto a broad, but she was under the age limit. "I'm not that old!" But Yumiko had barely noticed what the scruffy, not-so-pious looking hood in the corner said. She instead was scrutinizing the both of them. She smelled vice. And sin. But it didn't radiate as strongly from him. The beast hidden, Yumiko only looked worried as she took a step forward in Jigen's direction.

"You have committed many a grave sin against God."

Jigen's face fell awkwardly and he pushed his hat forward, hiding against eyes.

"Yep, that's how I roll. I'm on a road straight to hell. I don't want God and he sure as hell doesn't want me."

"You may be a sinner, but...you have a good heart," Yumiko quietly ventured to say.

Jigen clammed up and she turned to Lupin, who had stopped berating himself for the botched theft and wore a curious grin on his face, now and then shooting an invisible nudge at Jigen, whose beard pointed in

the opposite direction stubbornly. The nun probed the master thief's twisted, corrupt soul. "You also are a sinner. And you're a godless heathen."

Lupin raised his eyebrow, as if to say, "And your point is?" But he waited. "God bless you both, even if you do not want His mercy, sinners are the most worthy of His grace." Yumiko, her hands clasped and her eyes lowered, she walked across the room and out the door, leaving Jigen and Lupin utterly perplexed.

Inside the wild beast screamed.

_Let me out, goddamnit!! I want to send them to Hell!!_

"Not yet, Yumie," said the glasses-wearing nun calmly. "Trust in God. Your patience will be rewarded."

_I smell him..._

_I SMELL THE DEVIANT._

The nun placidly followed the scent of incense.

She came to the shrine.

Goemon broke his meditation: he identified the danger..it was lurking, hidden..like the Fuma...but no, even less tangible than that. Even when weakened, he could sense their oncoming attack. This threat was in the air...but he couldn't tell exactly where it was coming from.

A woman stopped at the door of the shrine.

Something wasn't right.

"God be with you," the Catholic nun greeted.

"Greetings," Goemon returned, with no intention of professing the Christian's faith. She continued to smile, warmly, nicely...until she took off her glasses. At once her features transformed into something horrible. Something completely consumed with insane rage, to strike terror in the hearts of demons.

"I I could smell your deviant blood all the way from Tokyo," the nun rasped with glee. "Of all your companions you're the most vice-ridden, irreversibly steeped in unspeakable sin.Though her teeth were flat, she smiled with a bloodlust of the very same bloodsuckers that she killed with relish. "I'm going to take my time in sending your filthy soul to Hell.." A harsh grating of the metal as she pulled out her katana. Goemon's normally imperturbable face cracked a smile.

"Then prepare yourself, heathen. Ishikawa Goemon will not let this insult go unpunished."

"Heathen?! Heathen?! You'll pay for that--" She lurched forward but as if dragged back by some inviisble force she paused. She raised her head again. "My pussy of an other self said that I've got to introduce myself to you, since she thinks you're a fine warrrior. We'll see about that, after Takagi Yumiko gets through with you!"

The Shinto warrior crossed swords with the Christian. A screeching howl from the clash of Zantetsuken against the katana. To his surprise, it did not shatter. Goemon's blood pulsed faster in his veins.

Could it be?

An opponent who is my equal?

This could be...fun.

The hot fluid made his heart thunder as he threw himself outwardly emotionless but inwardly turbulent with joy into the fight. The warrior-nun blocked his every stroke, dodged with elegance, and...

Set him aflame with desire.

Neither of them had given any ground. The day had worn on and it was almost evening. A purple dusk steeped the shrine and the two warriors in a heightening shadow. Yumie hurled herself forward yet again...but her opponent remained still.

"Your skills are exceptional. I realize that to continue this fight is futile."

"What do you mean?!"!" roared Yumie. "You're--giving up?! Only peasants run from a fight!!" she accused with a snarl. "What are you?! Are you a warrior or not?!"

Gomeon smiled, half-lidded, naughty. Yumie's eyes shot open in horror.

"Of course I am a warrior. But I also frequent the licensed quarters."

And with that he bared his cream-white flesh to the nun, his shame concealed by a bright red loincloth. Yumiko would have protested, she would have ducked behind a bush, a tree, something to act as a screen--she didn't have an actual sreen that would enforce the accepted barriers between man and woman...and even more than a man and a woman, a bride of Christ adn the son of the Devil. But this was Yumie. And she forced her katana only inches away from the shameless man's neck, burning from rage...but also blushing.

""You...licentious howler!!" Pause. "You're wrong, Yumiko, this soul's beyond saving! He's in the very grip of Satan--if not one of his henchmen himself! Any last words?"

Gomeon's features filled with abandon.

"Sister Yumiko...I know we are of different faiths, and God and Amaterasu omi-kami can never reconcile. But these boundaries mean nothing to me." He gripped the blade of her sword and thrust it aside. Yumie's jaw lowered in shock, anger, confusion, and inexplicably, excitement. Goemon stood, advancing towards the nun. His bride-to-be, restrained in temperament, childish, suitable--but this nun stirred his wild spirit as no woman ever had before. And a violent want coursed through his being that no amount of ascetic meditation could tame "Yumiko, I...wish that we would share a pleasant dream."

Yumiko stared at the thief, aghast, her glasses on, troubled. The image of the thief burned into her mind once again. A sudden pain wracked her...she broke into a sweat that obscured the tempter and his devillish countenance. She had to resist...it was the incubus leading her astray...no, not just astray..into a mire of inescapable vice. The bride of Christ and committing adultery with...a criminal! He didn't say his profession, but she could tell. She could read what was in his heart. Nothing but vice and criminality under that thin veneer of nobility.

"No!!" Yumiko protested, holding her veiled head. From under her habit her dark hair grew about, unruly, a sign of her non-assimilation. She was Christian, but...

_I can't believe it..._

_God saved me from error and ignorance._

_Is this how I repay Him?_

_Is this how I repay the blessed priest that taught me the true faith?_

_The only faith? _

_But..._

_My God...I know you won't forgive me._

_I don't ask for your forgiveness._

In the shadow of the shrine, the nun and the samurai dreamed. If only for a moment, a moment for her soul--

--

"Alright, I've got it fixed now!"

"Yeah? Sure you won't bring back a vampire this time?"

"Hey, shut up! At least it works, ya know?"

Lupin threw the switch.

--

Goemon awoke under the gate of the shrine. Nothing but the morning silence. Like mist, she was gone.

--

Sister Yumiko found herself in the midst of the choir that enveloped the towering church and once again filled her ears and her soul with divine music. But she felt far from purified. Indeed, she felt only a fleeting shame at imagining the Devil--her Devil..on the altar.

"Ishikawa Goemon. I will find you again."

--

"Hey, Goemon, c'mon, lets get the lead out!" Lupin shouted from his car--the red model, striking and sharp against the noonday sun. Jigen chewed on a straw. The samurai stood on a promontory, staring somewhere beyond his own time, beyond his own place, somewhere towards the Holy City on some far-off peninsula. But he could not go there, by boat, nor plane. For now...this woman who stirred his blood so violently...was elusive as the fog that collected on the mountains in the distance. And yet...

"I will find you again, Yumiko."

"Find who?" Lupin chimed, leaning in in a conspiratory way. Goemon put on his indifferent face and answered "Nothing", as he went to rejoin his companions in the car idling by the side of the road.

END

--

A/N: Heh-heh.XD


End file.
